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 Communication exercise:
Self-criticism or
The secret of how to be your own best friend
Isn’t it amazing that most people are much friendlier to their friends than to themselves?
Nobody (ok, lets say ‘not the bright ones’) would tell their friend “Oh, you are not gonna make this” before he writes an important test. And nobody would tell a friend he was too stupid to learn what he has to learn.
But astonishingly a lot of people say things like this to themselves. And the difficult thing is that most of them even believe themselves - and then start to feel and act correspondingly...
If you want to change this behaviour for yourself, the first thing to do is to notice when it happens! And then change this uncomfortable habit.
So here I have a very valuable exercise for you:
Spend a week without criticising yourself!
Do not condemn yourself, your abilities to communicate or learn, your outward appearance, your possibilities, talents or something else. Don’t say it to others and don’t even to yourself.
Bonus:
And if you learn to be more polite to yourself it gets easier to be well-balanced when communicate with others as well.
Extra tip:
Even if you try very hard not to criticise yourself it might happen from time to time at the beginning. Then please do not criticise yourself because you criticised yourself…!
The aim is not to be perfect at the beginning but to learn and recognise and enhance faster and faster.
Warning:
Think about your self-reflection. It is useful to be able to concede that you did something wrong. Just replace unproductive vilification with plans how to do it better next time.
Examples:
Instead of “Oh no, I tripped over the stair again, I’m so awkward.” you could say “Next time I watch my steps!”
And instead of “Oh no, I have these huge tusks.” try a “Maybe my next date should be a wild pig, vampire or werewolf! They will love me!”
To take pride in yourself:
And if you have fewer criticisms than the day before:
Reward yourself! You have done a great job!
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